Walking away …


Dear Hope,

Have you ever felt like walking away someday? Exactly those words – walking away. Have you ever felt like it? Perhaps it is to nowhere you have in mind already, or maybe even will. But just walk away – from yourself for a while. I have, I know at least one major time before. And another seems to be knocking, I guess.

You know, the interesting irony to me is, the state of feeling comes not because one is not needed; but, on the contrary, that one is much needed. No, I should rather say, one feels much needed – that sounds like it. The latter tilts heavier to this feeling than the former, I’m sure.

I was just reasoning open-ended questions in my head yesterday night, when I had begun to number two, three, four responsibilities creeping in steadily at this time. And I guess once again someone might have to come to that overworked-RAM point in this head where someone wistfully but desperately consider the thought to just walk away someday. Perhaps a time I’d just dare to leave piles of files half-completed, half-submitted; and blog content entries half-read, half-published; and notification emails, personal messages unopened, and unread for a really long time…

And a time I’d simply damn all feelings to be responsible to and responsible for, and simply Walk Away. And for as long as I could find rest.

Maybe.

What is with responsibilities, Hope? What is with being responsible for some people? And what with being responsible to somebody, or some people? Why do we take–amass, responsibilities?

And why do people go after positions of responsibility when the money there is one thing and the stress quite another. I am telling you, dearie, it is the men at the top that works most. Let us wait for the time to all get there, and in time you’ll prove my paradox true. I’ve once had a very minute taste–no, Sight–of this.

But maybe responsibilities does the sense of pride much soothing good, and you still collect them as one collects art objects even when they increasingly grow in number. Why do we add them–want them, really?

Play is fun; work is work–maybe pride, sometimes anyway. But maybe we shouldn’t wait till work sucks till we, well, walk away. Perhaps for some time.

Perhaps one day I would simply wake up – and walk away, Hope.

Maybe we all should. Just maybe.

Best,
Kayode.

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